The [real] Synopsis

It has come to my attention that the Golden God, Derek Landy has written and released the synopsis for his latest novel, Last Stand of Dead Men. You are probably fearing the death and the destruction which will be featured in the eighth addition to the Skulduggery Pleasant series, yes?

And while you are right to be, I feel the need to point out that Mr Landy's summary of the book is not accurate.
Here, I give you, the REAL synopsis.

Last Stand of Dead Men:

War has finally come.

But it's not a war between good and evil, or light and dark- it's a war between Unicorns. For too long now, the Irish Unicorns have teetered on the brink of world-ending disaster, and the other Unicorns around the world have had enough. People turn to Unicorns, socks turn to Unicorns, and Skulduggery and Valkyrie must team up with the rest of the non-Unicorn-beings if they're going to have any chance at all of maintaining the balance of power and getting to the root of a vast Unicorn Sub-culture that has been years in the making.

But while this war is only beginning, another Unicorn is on the verge of rising to the surface. And if Valkyrie slips, even for a moment, then Unicorns will tacklehug the world and everyone in it.

(I wrote a few of these, much by accident, really. It was a lot of fun. I think my favourite involved rabbits, but I dig unicorns, too. I'm considering making a small project out of it, but there's still plenty of time for that...)

Consider:

We are none of us innocent.

We all make mistakes.

We say things we shouldn’t,

And raise the stakes.

We each have our flaws,

They’re what set us apart,

But hold us together,

By mind and by heart.

We all take irritation,

From many different factors,

And some of these stimuli

May operate reactors

We can weild our differences

And throw them at our throats

Shave away at imperfections,

But think what this denotes

We could just as well indulge

In seeking out those upper sides

And we may not fall so hard

When individuality collides

We can take a course for betterment

And hold our heads alive,

Keeping upsides next to downsides

In the characters we drive

Detestable

There are things that I say, do, or don't do, that can just have me hate myself over and over again.
One of these things, in struggles between what is right and what is wrong, not only do I give up, but I run.
Because when there is no right answer, I suppose the only real wrong is to not answer at all.

I am pathetic,

Don’t deny this,

It’s true,

I stand in the shadows,

You don’t see me,

I don’t let you

You say you’re going to leave

Still, you don’t see me,

And I slip away, unnoticed,

I don’t stop,

I don’t persuade,

I don’t care;

But I do.

I care,

My actions fail to show this,

But I care

And they care,

You care,

But still you say this,

And I do nothing,

It’s not my actions that fail to help;

It’s me.

Waiting for the Rain to Fall

It's been far too long since it last rained. Granted, it snowed a whole lot, a couple of weeks back, and that's still lingering on the ground, but it's not the same. I miss the rain. It's nice. It works with writing, somehow. Now the weather's just still, and I find it hard to get my brain flowing. Anyway, I put some thoughts onto paper- I think the result has some issues with flowing, too, but hopefully that's something I can work on, at least. :)

The persistent sun breaks through the blind
And lights the notes I fail to write
I stare too solid at my pen
Until I'm waiting for the rain to fall again

I can rack my brain so hard
I'll feel my frontal lobe is scarred
So I'll forget the things I've said
And be left waiting for the rain to fall again

With the liquid pounding glass
I feel the words expand like gas
Forming clouds around my head
So my thoughts cannot be read

If I can't see things disconnect
Then I've nothing to correct
So I'll sit and carry on
Without a worry that the rain will stop

But the sun evaporates the fall
And throws its light upon us all
I can't relish this terrain
So I'm left waiting for the rain to fall again.